Little Boy Black And Blue

Oh Little Boy Black and Blue,
Who was it that did this to you?
Who raised a hand at innocence?
Did they proclaim their eminence-
At a child's expense?

Is this your beloved mother's psalm,
This stormy song beneath your calm?
The one who nourished you from birth.
Were you more trouble then you were worth?
Oh was it her who did this to you,
Little Boy Black and Blue?

Was it your father, that loving soul?
Did the alcohol cause him to lose control?
Was his patience tried and taunted-
By the boy he never wanted?
Oh was it him that did this to you,
Little Boy Black and Blue?

Oh Little Boy Black and Blue,
The autopsy confirms it was true.
You were sodomized and strangled.
You were beaten, broken, mangled.
You must've screamed in agony,
As bloodstained hands brought you more misery.
Oh was it someone you never even knew,
Little Boy Black and Blue?

Silent Child

My silent child
our precious baby,
Close to my heart
I'll keep you with me.
An important job
God has for you,
There is love to give,
and work to do.

He needs an angel
strong but small,
To shine light on many
and give love to all.
Before you go
I give you this,
half my heart
and one last kiss.

We'll miss you dearly
that we know,
But by God you were
chosen,
So to heaven, you must go

Confessions Of A Broken Heart

Pain... Tension... Fatigue...
Depression...
Anger, Aggression, Frustration.
All these unwanted sensations -
Burning, hurting, tearing.
My heart alone, cold and fearing.
Why won't you let me sleep, let me rest,
Let me forget
To eradicate, eliminate, destroy all my regrets?
These memories inside, swirling, twirling,
unwilling to reside in the corner of my mind.
Repeating, resisting, insisting -
Refusing to be denied its recognition
Of its position in my
Frustration, Confusion, Delusion.
Ah, to close my eyes and let time fly by,
Because there's so much to gain
By forgetting these dreams driving me insane.
Unfocused, unclear, out of control,
My world spinning, spinning, spinning,
My sanity flying through the door.
My reason, my logic, oh, it's tragic,
Like fine sands running through my hands,
I'm losing my mind.

Friends Until The End

We used to talk
We used to laugh
We were best of friends
I thought that�s how it would always be
You taught me so much
Told me exactly what to say
I wish it were still the same
But someday I know it will
Maybe not today
But we�ll meet up again
It won�t be long until I see your face
In Heaven that marvelous day

Nobody

It's gone
What's gone? My mind?
Soul? No, I'm fine
Not really
Deep inside, something is missing
The love and tender kissing
She walked out herself
Now all I do is talk to myself
in the mirror, with my reflection
My heart is dead
Soon it will make a resurrection
Once the wounds heal
And I'm loved for real
A type of love I can feel
But nobody loves me
Nobody cares
Nobody loves me
That nobody is me
I can't love myself because no one does
I'm all alone and no longer what I once was
But the only thing that keeps me alive
Is knowing that the next day, it might all change
For the best
And that "nobody" becomes somebody

Courage To Move On!!

They had been together for many a year,
Now all she can feel is fear.
She gave all that she could give,
It just wasn't the way he wanted to live.

He left without a backward glance,
Not even giving their love a chance.
She often wonders what she could have done,
To keep him from going on the run.

Now she is living all alone,
With nothing she can call her own.
She can barely make herself eat,
Wondering if her life will again be complete.

This woman is now moving along,
Building her courage, and becoming strong.
Time will heal her broken pride,
Toward the sunrise her heart will glide.

Warped & Twisted

Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted
On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted

Wings Of The Angels

A gentle wind blew cross the land
Reaching out to take a hand
For on the winds the angels came
Calling out a mother's name.

Left behind, the children's tears
Loving memories of the years
Of joy and love, a life well spent
And now to God a mother's sent.

On angel's wings, a heavenly flight
The journey home, towards the light
To those who weep, a life is gone
But in God's love, 'tis but the dawn.

Dying Inside

Something so hard
goes straight to the soul;
it seems impossible to get over
and my heart is left with a big hole.

I'm trying to be happy, wearing a smile;
but I'm dying inside.
The world seems to be fading,
and I just want to run and hide.

Everywhere I go I see your face,
and realize how much I miss you;
and on the day you died
a piece of me died too.

Forever Young

Trapped in the glorious years
within the memory of belief, lost of all grief.
Take the reasons,
which once seemed so clear,
but never mind, you have nothing to fear.
For you my fried will be, forever young,
Forever in the heart of memories.

Lost in the glory of all time,
the wisdom was there within that smile,
You see you could have told us,
there within lies the mystery.

So shed a smile, and grin a tear,
For you my friend, will be,
Forever young, Forever young.
Forever in the heart of memory,
We see not through or misery.
Forever young, forever young.
There's a new angel tonight.

Your Eyes

When I look at your eyes, I see your true self.
I see you're sweet, and caring.
I see you're giving and forgiving.
I see your love for me.

When I look at your eyes I stop myself from crying
When I'm alone and think about your eyes I cry.
I can't stop thinking that one day I'll never see those eyes again
That I'll never see the love or the sweetness
Or the love that makes you who you are.
One day you'll be gone - gone from me.
Gone from this world.
No matter what happens, those eyes will one day close
And forever rest in peace.

But you'll never be completely gone,
Because every time I close my eyes,
There you will be.

Just a Little Longer

Desolation,
Wide open space,
Between the trees and me,
Emptiness and me,
Confusion and decisions,
Feelings hard to define,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

Coldness seeps
Its way in,
I am falling deeper,
Into what I fear most,
As I reach out,
There is nothing there,
As possible there was something once,
Only to be gone,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

The sun drops,
The last inch of light falls,
The squirrels more likely to be huddled up,
But not me,
Something I never possessed,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

Then the sun has gone,
Darkness spreads its wings over me,
I see nothing so no one sees me,
Feeling of bitterness only,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

An Owl peers down,
With question in her eyes,
She doesn't have a hope,
In helping me,
As she doesn't see my pain,
Spreads her wings,
Passes me by,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

The soft earth,
Seems the only thing holding me up,
Even then I could slip,
And wondering takes me,
To why and how I got here,
Without even knowing it,
Yet no one notices,
As they didn't see before,
So I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

Shimmering in the darkness,
I see two moons,
Reflecting off a stream of thoughts,
Ongoing forever more,
Along a rocky road,
Slowly giving in to finding a way out,
I take the plunge under the river,
Then the wind carries a whisper,
Gently on a breeze,
'Just a little longer.'

Why?

He was young
His life had just begun
All of a sudden it was taken away
I didn't even get to say the things I wanted to say
Only if God could see
How he could of turned out to be
Alcohol was the cause
He was wrong and broke the law
He wasn't the only one to pay
I still cry to this day
He would have been 21 this year
Sometimes I envision him in my mind
As clear as I would in a mirror
I only hope he knows
that no matter where in life I go
I love him so much
I only wish I could feel his touch
Only if God could see
How much he meant to me
Why won't the sorrow disappear?
Why can't I stop shedding the tears?
I never told him how much I cared
or how much I enjoyed the things we shared
All of mind is filled with hate
Because I never told him of my love
and now it's too late
Sometimes I feel he's here
I only wish he didn't drink that beer
For he'd be alive today
and I wouldn't think of reasons "Why?" to say

You'll Never Know

You'll never know

How much I loved you,

How much I cared.

You'll never know

About my pain,

About my broken heart.

You'll never know

How much I cried,

Just lying on my bed

And thinking of you . . .

kissing her.

Goodbye At Last

Saying goodbye is never easy
It's the hardest thing to do
But what hurts even more
Is not the chance to say it to you.

Yesterday is just a memory
Our laughter was sunny and bright
Then clouds started to gather
For you were no where in sight.

You were my first real love
And this I will never forget
How you left without a warning
No good-byes, my only regret.

Wherever I may be now
Always searching for another so true
To place my world of emotion
Handing my love to someone like you.

If again I must go there
And experience all the pain
I would do it in a minute
For all the good I would gain.

No matter what my wrongs
You offered only love
Until the day you left me
For your new home up above.

I know you still are with me
Your love is within my heart
Though life is no longer present
Our souls will never part.

This is given to you in honor
Of all that we did share
I just wanted you to know, dear,
How much I really did care.

You Are Like The Diamond

You are like the diamond
You glimmer and glow
And shine so brightly
Some, like me, draw close
To feel your warmth, your heat
Only to find none

You are like the diamond
You are bright and strong
But you have no warmth, or love
It's a terrible game
To play with people's hearts
Like mine

You are like the diamond
You will last longer than most
But you will have no love
No warmth to back up that bright light
So what kind of life will it be?
Besides long?

Will you regret it someday?
Regret being so much like the diamond
Regret being so cold
And look for me
A find me gone?
Can I ever leave?

No, I can never leave you
I am drawn to this cold light
This false sense of warmth you give
I keep wishing and hoping
That someday, you will give warmth
But, this will never be

Diamonds last forever

Love

You said the words I love you,
But it is obvious things have changed.
I said the words I love you,
And my feelings are still the same.
You said I'll love you forever,
But forever wasn't long enough.
I said I'll love you always,
And I'll mean it forever.
But I can not imply to you
What that means,
'Cause your version of Forever
Isn't what it seems,
And my version of Always
Seems like an unrealistic dream.

Promises Made

Yesterday's goals, dim memories.
Dark saddened eyes, blurring with tears.
Painful scars borne; Love's history.
Futures crumble when doubt appears.

No brightly lit hope envisioned,
When following after harsh words.
Hurt soul splits in twain, partitioned.
Swooned by appeal - when numbness lured.

Apologies made, never bought.
Price paid turned out far too costly.
Though never known what would be wrought -
Must walk into the night softly.

One wish, only to be released.
Granted - now receive this token.
Words written in rhyme, love's deceased.
When promises made . . . were broken.

Crazy

Trapped inside my own head
With nothing but my own fevered dreams to comfort me.
I know the pain of the madman;
He lives inside of me.
I've felt the strength of demons
And the weakness of self- preservation.
And hope. Hope.
Hey, parents, do you know where your kids are tonight?
Are they locked away inside of themselves?
Are their minds slipping away?
Mama hen, mama hen . . .
The fox has taken your baby again.
Precious minds are a shame to waste
Memories are forgotten in haste.
I am losing all that is me . . .
Yet gaining something entirely different.
Something that acts like an animal
And speaks like God.
Comforts me like a best friend
And loves me like its child.
I am its child.
An innocent brat, ready for its teachings.
Ready to do what is told to me.
Believing all that is said to me.
Taking in all.
And living off of my fevered dreams.

Never Forgotten

I was only eight when it began
Late at night, when I was alone.
You preyed on my innocence and my trust.
How did I know that it was wrong?

You did things so horrible to me,
My soul and body were bared.
What you did to that little girl
Left me feeling alone and scared.

You said it was to show your love
By taking my body for your use.
But now I know that what happened to me
Wasn't love; it was abuse.

All the dirty things you did to me
Won't wash away with rain.
Nothing on earth will rid my heart
Of this neverending pain.

I hope that you hurt as much as I do,
Or do you even remember what you did?
Nothing will make up for the pain you caused
When I was just a kid.

The physical scars you put on my body
Have since healed with time.
But my pain still shows on the outside
Whenever the child inside of me starts to cry.

That little eight year old girl
Had to grow up way too soon.
And all of the hurt and pain that you have caused
Will always be remembered, like a flower that forever blooms.

Thinking

Thinking. Can't stop thinking.
Think of you. This. That. That Life. That day.
That dream was mine.
A utopian dream.

Your aura; struck me like lightning to a tree.
Pointy, like a star, you shone.
So bright, yet not shining as a star would,
But as apparent as white chalk on a blackboard.
You would not show off like a star.
Yet you did burn so hot, so fiercely, so explosively -
you were a star in my eyes.

But like all stars, you died.
That gas was gone.
No pull between us.
The atmosphere was dry
and I began to choke.
I was taken from my star - like a child being taken from its poor,
drunken mother - I did not know what was happening.
Dazed. Confused. Without true reality, I there sat.
Wondering.

The end of my world had only just begun, with yours beginning.

Our Love

our love is a
wasteland
of
promises in vain

of past
of present
of future
nothing

rotting
quietly
in my palms

What Did You Expect?

You came into my life
As quickly as you left.
You grabbed a cutting knife
And sliced right through my breast.

You didn't mean to hurt
But what did you expect?

My heart now cut in two
It feels beyond repair.
Injury done by you
God, life just isn't fair.

You didn't mean to hurt
But what did you expect?

So here we are, just friends,
But I long to be more.
Desire with no end
Throbbing from my core.

You didn't mean to hurt
But what did you expect?

It Won't Be Long

You said before you died,
that I was the key to your heart.
But the truth is you were mine.
I ask the Lord above,
to answer my prayers.
That you would come back.
But, that wouldn't be fair.
I now know that you're happy where you are.
Safe in the arms of Jesus,
without any cares.
But I want you to know,
that I still love you so.
And I'll go on living for Him,
Knowing that His light will never dim.
Someday together we'll be,
But, until then, the Lord will take care of me.
So, keep on watching,
It won't be long.
That from this world,
I'll be gone.
Into your arms once again,
Safe from all the worldly harm.

Who Would Know

Who would know these kids were drunk
driving in our town?
I was coming out of the parking lot,
they hit me, I spun around.

All of a sudden my short life flashed
before my hurting eyes.
I started thinking about all the fun
I had with mom, dad, and the guys.
Then I hear the siren guy say there is no chance -
She will die, I also felt my spirit go up into the sky.

Why does my family have to suffer,
for something they didn't do?
I just pulled out of a parking lot and now my life is through.

I am only 19 years old now,
my family's life is going to shatter,
and the civil case will not matter.
The expense of my funeral will bring them down,
me lying in a casket,
my family and friends all on the ground.

Just because those kids thought they were cool,
drinking and driving in my town.

Heartstrings Are Played Upon

It's becoming more evident
Much more obvious to me
I thought much more of you
Than you ever thought of me

Was this my biggest mistake
Letting myself think you cared
Was I just your marionette
With heartstrings open and bared

With me left here still thinking
What was false, what was true
So puzzling and so complex
I'm left to await another clue

On my heartstings you played
Each left with a loving memory
Yet I still have those questions
Do you ever think about me

I'm wondering why all the intrigue
Now why all of this mystery
Why am I left here hanging
Your the one that holds the key.

Mistake

I must admit that I have often thought
of leaving it all behind and letting everything go

I was lost and alone, as I always am,
So many people around me,
Yet no one seems to care.

They say they understand and love me very much,
But just when I Trust to love, they forget and move on.

I held the knife so close
as tears, mixed with blood,
Began to fall slowly.
Like a foolish child I cried.

Knowing that I could end it all now
made my mind draw a blank.

I put the knife away and tried to wipe the blood,
that ran faster than I can describe.

I knew suicide wasn't the answer I was looking for.
I knew there was a reason for me being alone.

So many bad things happening at once -
They can make you forget
About the good qualities of life.

Even though life is hard,
and trouble an inevitable part of it.

If you decide to leave it all behind,
maybe you will,
but I can guarantee that others
....Your Mistake will haunt

Death Of An Angel

I once knew a lady named
Misery
she lived in a damaged world
she calls to me in transparent dreams

a lonely star
outside
the closed universe

she was my twisted soul

long ago
she experienced
the darkest of
pain

beauty was something
she could not
believe

I once knew an angel named
Evil
she traveled like a
ghost into the shadows

her heart was dying for some form of
life

all seems balanced
now
the angel burns to
die

She Walks

She walks along this lonely street
no one to dry her tears
massage her tired feet
or calm ever present fears

Seeing life through tainted heart
making everything gray
Alone, her life, anew to start
Always searching for a way

But life goes on no matter what
That fact she cannot quell
Memories ne'er to be forgot
Within her heart they dwell

So she keeps walking this lonely street
Keeps searching to find her way
Every night she lies down to sleep
And prays tomorrow's a better day

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry for everything you've been through
It must've been very hard on you
I'm sorry for all that's been said and done
I was the moon, you were the sun
I'm sorry for not making everything right
But the situation I was in, was very tight
I'm sorry for not lending you a hand
If only I could be a better friend
I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't care
Lucky for you, your special- someone was there
I'm sorry for breaking your heart
For forgiveness, where do I start?

Have You?

Have You ever loved someone
But knew they didn't care?
Have You ever felt like crying
But Knew you'd get no where?

Have you ever looked into their eyes
And said a little prayer?
Have you ever looked into their hearts
And wished that you were there?

Have you ever felt their heartbeat,
When the lights were turned down low?
Have you ever whispered "God, I love You"
But you'll never let me show?

Love is grand, yet it hurts so much.
The price you pay is high.
If I could choose between Love and Death,
I'd rather choose to die.

So do not fall in love, my friend,
It doesn't pay a dime.
It only causes broken hearts,
Yet it happens all the time.

So do not fall in love, my friend,
You'll hurt before it's through.
I ought to know, my friend -
I fell in love with you.

I'm Too Big To Cry

I never stopped to realize
How lonely I would be
I never thought the day would come
When you'd grow tired of me

Your voice was never sweeter
Than the day you said goodbye
You'll never know how much it hurt
Because I'm too big to cry

If I knew then what I know now
You'd still be kissing me
Instead there's someone else's lips
Where mine used to be

I say hello and wish you well
Each time I pass you by
But you'll never know how much it hurt
Because I'm too big to cry

You never looked so wonderful
As the day you walked away
I used to say, "I love you"
But that I could not say

I can't forget you darlin'
No matter how much I try
You'll never know how much it hurt
Because I'm too big to cry

Painful Love

Watching you from across the room
sends searing pain through my heart.
I think back to a year ago,
when I thought we'd never part.
My love for you just won't die down -
it just grows with each new day.
I wish you'd dare to look at me
and hear what I have to say;
"I love you and I want you back - "
but these words you just won't hear.
You don't seem to remember them -
all the memories I hold dear.
You were my first kiss, my first love
and now you don't even care.
How could you just blow it away?
We were the perfect pair.
you seem content to let me go -
You're doing fine as you are,
while I'm still missing how we were.
We had the best love by far.

A Lesson

I've learned a lot of lessons
In the short time I have lived
I've learned how to appreciate
And I've learned how to give.

But in these past few months
There's two I'll remember most
I've learned how to love
And I've learned to let go.

You entered my life with such a force
And left it with one as strong
And though we tried to make it last
We both knew it wouldn't be long.

I lie at night and think about
How I'm the one to blame.
If only I would have trusted you,
I could have missed this pain.

And so I spent each day of my life
With my heart in pieces
And when I thought it could never be cured,
Something happened; I expected it least.

I guess my soul was all cried out,
And it was tired of being used.
And even though I know I'm guilty,
I was tired of being accused.

And so I've learned to end this
Without an urge to cry
These are my final words to you,
"I love you and goodbye."

What Good Is Love

waited for your love in hope,

That ours would come again,

And make me feel the things I felt,

When we were one, back then.

But time and distance have erased,

The things I wished anew,

And now I find myself alone,

Though I am here with you.

What good is love, that does not touch,

What good is love, that gives you pain.

What good is love, that makes you run,

And makes you lost out in the rain.

I traveled to another world,

Out far beyond the one we knew,

I thought that I could live again,

And now I find I'm back with you.

But what of hearts that beat as one,

And what of passion and embrace,

Is it too much to ask of you,

To make these tears of mine erase.

What good is love, that does not touch,

What good is love, that gives you pain.

What good is love, that makes you run,

And makes you lost out in the rain.

Too painful this - to journey back,

To times of love and laughter free,

The times we lay together with

A sense of you , a sense of me.

So now, I journey on alone,

Forever wandering, in my thoughts,

And I shall ask you once again,

What good is love.

My Love Left On A Saturday

My belt loosens slowly.
Reminders of you stay fresh
in murky ponds of suffocating tadpoles.
Wake me in the morning,
when the sun shines again.
It's frightening when all I know
falls apart.
And all I know is you.
Hunger squeezes me tighter.
My soul sags with exhaustion.
Ashtrays fill with sleepless nights.
Weeping intensifies my anxiety.
Can tomorrow come without you...
here today?
The cheap chandelier falls on my face.
The rose filled lamp explodes in my hands.
Pain is unrecognizable.
All I knew was you.
You.
My love.

Gone So Soon

You took chances
Once too many times.
As a child you thought -
"Oh no, never me."
Life is a gift,
Given and taken at some
Unknown time.
Your time came too soon -
Your life was over in a flash.
The fun you shared,
The joy you brought,
All just a memory -
Behind us.

Letting Go

How do you walk away from someone you love
And take the road of friend;
Can you reroute the course you have taken
And start over once again?

I don't really want to let you go
But inside me I know I must;
The times we've loved . . . the times you've left
My heart says stay . . . but it's my mind I must trust.

We have shared so much together
Laughter . . . fun times . . . tears;
Yet sometimes we can't turn back time
We must walk away, and allow ourselves to heal.

I know one day you will be happy
And your soulmate you will find;
I know we each have one out there
Even if for now . . . only in our minds.

May life be gentle with you
May God's best come your way;
And on some quiet tomorrow
You will realize things were better this way.

Dance Of Terror

Window panes come crashing down
Amidst the tears and pain
Vanishing hopes are gone and flew away
Up above through twilight
Shadows cast across the floor
Reflections of the past
Trembling thoughts of one
Dwelling deep within the soul
A mystical sense of reality
Captured by the craze
All in bewilderment
Of the shock in the wave
Creatures of the dimness
Chattering amongst the green
Everything slows in stillness
What is this we see?

At First

At first, remember how you promised?
It would be soft and tender,
A loving feeling to remember.

But, instead . . .

You made me feel like a whore,
My body laid out in front of your eyes to adore.
And I wondered how this could be,
We were finally together, you and me.

I was only a piece of flesh,
No loving thing,
And that was the night this angel was stripped of her wings.

You hurt me, caused pain
And what was I to gain?
This tiny life that is inside,
When I found out I could have died.

Something that once had the chance to be so sweet,
Turned out to be nothing to you but a piece of meat.
The pain I felt,
My heart you made melt.

This pain can never be recovered,
Because I will always have a reminder of my first lover.
Something he will not see for a while.
He does not know that we made a child.

Diana

You truly were an angel
sent from God in heaven above.
Your shocking death just broke the hearts of everyone you loved.
When I found out that you had died
I thought that they were wrong.
You were so alive - and then
just like that, you were gone.
A flame blown out in seconds,
Confirming our worst fears -
A light that shines no more on earth
for which we shed many tears.
But still you are my beacon
And I need you right now.
You hear all the prayers I say
Because they are answered somehow.
I wish that you could be here,
But in a way you are.
Your symbol of a rose goes everywhere with me,
so I know you can't be far.
It still is quite a shock to me
that you had to die;
But no one will forget you
And I love you, and goodbye.

Remembrance

She remembers it all,
All the people who had said
They cared, but did they really?

She remembers it all,
The sound of laughter and
How happy she'd been, but was she really?

She remembers it all,
His arms around her and
He said "I love you," but did he really?

She remembers it all,
The pain she'd felt when he left,
How her heart ached, but was it really?

She remembers it all,
The feeling of being so alone,
The feeling no one cared, but did they really?

But now they'll remember her,
Staring at the knife in her hand
How easy to slit her wrists, but will she really?

For Sean

I caught a
glimpse of myself
as I opened my
car door
yesterday

a face
I don't really
know
stared back at me

it looked eighty

bitter eyes
sharp lines in my
skin

a girl raped of her
innocence
I suppose

you know it's been
millions of years
since I've talked to you

I feel like you
died

let me feel the snow again
before I had to
sever you
from my side

let me hold your hand
the simplest things that
haunt me

let me pretend that
I don't really know the
truth

or better yet

let me
remember
the girl
under my skin
you
took away

The Joke's On Me

I keep waiting for the phone to ring
Yet I know it won't be you;
I try to fill my life with busyness
Yet all I do is think of you.

What became of us
And all our dreams and plans;
How could you turn and walk away
As I watched our castles turn to sand?

Do you never even miss me
Don't you long to caress my face;
How could you forget so easily
And You I can't erase?

I want to be in your arms again
To see the laughter in your eyes;
But I guess the joke's on me
And Oh! Was I surprised!

Mother's Watch

I sit beside you, Mom

On death's doorstep you lay

I set my head upon your wrist

As I bow my head to pray

The world to me shut off

The silence here is thick

Alone just you and I

And your watch's rhythmic tick

I block out all my pain

And loss I'm sure to feel

I concentrate now deeply

On the tick your watch reveals

I sit here now for days

And hear the rhythmic sound

I contemplate you being gone

The thought now seems profound

The time for you is near

To enter Heaven's Gate

I'll stay here by your side

Until your journey is complete

It's months now since you've passed

My wounds are healing slow

I want so much to hear your voice

To see your smile's glow

I lay my head upon my wrist

When my feelings are too strong

I hear your watch's rhythmic tick

And know you're never gone

Everything

Every new beginning,
comes from some beginnings end.

Every time you kill me,
I am born again.

Every time you close that door,
Another door is opened.

And every time you say goodbye,
a different word is spoken.

Every time you look at me
my back is facing you,

And every time you ask to see me
I'll have something else to do.

Every time I join your game,
You're not playing fair,

And every time I really love you,
I pretend that I don't care.

I Regret

My God, why did you take my mother?
Angles took the wrong one - not her - another.
Regret is a feeling that I feel everyday;
You took her from me, and I didn't say -

"I Love You, Mom," in my own way;
Only to hear her say it back to me.
God, why couldn't you just let us be?
She didn't deserve to die;
Didn't deserve to be in pain,
Only to leave me here asking you why -
Night after night when I cry in vain.

Something

And so it came to be
this isolation that I am
I can only look to me
to find the way it all began -
this confusion, constant
hunger for something more than this
I strive to find this being
that I envision, yet seem to miss.
Could it be that I am empty-
or maybe a little lost?
Could it be that I am lonely,
or seek happiness at any cost?
This never-ending Something
that I am living deep inside,
depicts the illusion of myself
and all I have to hide.

Blind

Your beauty intoxicates all you encounter,
Yet you fail to notice,
This is your blunder,

You've had a rough time,
Though now it is over,
But yet you continue clinging to what is left over,

And in doing this your depression grows deeper,
Pulling you apart at the seams,
Causing you to unravel and fall to you knees,
Pondering desperately: "How much worse can it be? "

To ease your mind of your terrible burden,
You bargain with Satan (as if he cares),
Giving you a release, in turn for your soul:
That you believe tarnished and not worth much at all,

When all of your friends have been with you till now,
But here comes the crossroads up ahead,
They give you a choice: "Stand tall or fall down."

You have your beauty and charm,
Your intelligence and grace,
Good friends and your health,
What more does it take for you?

Waiting

Wanting,
lusting,
to be held,
to be loved,
to feel warmth,
to feel your beating heart.
Wanting to be sheltered from the cold,
heartless winds.
Falling into invisible arms;
into an abyss of love.
Wishing,
hoping,
that my desires will be filled;
my desires of loving warmth.
Wanting to be held,
comforted,
loved.
Dreaming of passionate embraces,
of tender kisses,
loving words,
romantic nights.
Waiting for undying love.

Silence, Emptiness, And Confusion

Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl
It feeds on loneliness and creates a void
Gray shadows haunt and torment and torture
A teenager is stricken and destroyed

There is no sound of laughter or happiness here
The little one has thrown in the towel today
Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul
It is futile to hope and dream and pray

Emptiness builds a home in this woman
In this girl, this child where hollows have bred
A deepening sea of nowhereness consumes
And eats away at every connecting thread

Confusion feeds like a savage inside her,
Leaving nothing considered worthy remains
Destined to walk through life less ordinary
Alone, exiled, different and disdained.

So Long For Now

You look so peaceful lying there
With your hands folded upon your chest.
You look like you are sleeping
But you are at eternal rest.
So Long For Now.

Not a hair out of place,
Your make-up nicely done,
A beautiful smile upon your lips -
For now you are with Absalom.
When someone special passes on
It does not mean they are gone,
Though they are no longer with us
Their memory still lives on.
It hurts so much to lose a friend -
Especially one that is trustworthy and kind.
Nan Legge, you were that special friend,
A rare and special find.
Nan Legge, you will always be with me
In spirit and in mind.
You will always have a special place in my heart
Forever until the end of time.
Nan Legge, I will not say "Good-bye".
This is not the end.
So I will just say, "So long..."
Until we meet again.