WHY CANT I FEEL?

This time I cannot feel the stars at night

Something happened to me supposedly not right

I couldn’t recollect myself at proper time

Mistake that I made was rendered to be a crime

I am dreaming for someone for quite some time

Realization of this seems cumbersome this time

People advice me to leave it and choose the rest

Well I say I don’t care if I can get the best

Every flower depicts the image of you

So I only love flowers because I love u

Question being asked is not difficult no wonder

Remember that time and then ponder

This is the last and the least I can say

Remember besides this I have no other way

Moon doesn’t come in sky where I live

No wonder I can’t feel the stars at night

Little Boy Black And Blue

Oh Little Boy Black and Blue,
Who was it that did this to you?
Who raised a hand at innocence?
Did they proclaim their eminence-
At a child's expense?

Is this your beloved mother's psalm,
This stormy song beneath your calm?
The one who nourished you from birth.
Were you more trouble then you were worth?
Oh was it her who did this to you,
Little Boy Black and Blue?

Was it your father, that loving soul?
Did the alcohol cause him to lose control?
Was his patience tried and taunted-
By the boy he never wanted?
Oh was it him that did this to you,
Little Boy Black and Blue?

Oh Little Boy Black and Blue,
The autopsy confirms it was true.
You were sodomized and strangled.
You were beaten, broken, mangled.
You must've screamed in agony,
As bloodstained hands brought you more misery.
Oh was it someone you never even knew,
Little Boy Black and Blue?

Silent Child

My silent child
our precious baby,
Close to my heart
I'll keep you with me.
An important job
God has for you,
There is love to give,
and work to do.

He needs an angel
strong but small,
To shine light on many
and give love to all.
Before you go
I give you this,
half my heart
and one last kiss.

We'll miss you dearly
that we know,
But by God you were
chosen,
So to heaven, you must go

Confessions Of A Broken Heart

Pain... Tension... Fatigue...
Depression...
Anger, Aggression, Frustration.
All these unwanted sensations -
Burning, hurting, tearing.
My heart alone, cold and fearing.
Why won't you let me sleep, let me rest,
Let me forget
To eradicate, eliminate, destroy all my regrets?
These memories inside, swirling, twirling,
unwilling to reside in the corner of my mind.
Repeating, resisting, insisting -
Refusing to be denied its recognition
Of its position in my
Frustration, Confusion, Delusion.
Ah, to close my eyes and let time fly by,
Because there's so much to gain
By forgetting these dreams driving me insane.
Unfocused, unclear, out of control,
My world spinning, spinning, spinning,
My sanity flying through the door.
My reason, my logic, oh, it's tragic,
Like fine sands running through my hands,
I'm losing my mind.

Friends Until The End

We used to talk
We used to laugh
We were best of friends
I thought that�s how it would always be
You taught me so much
Told me exactly what to say
I wish it were still the same
But someday I know it will
Maybe not today
But we�ll meet up again
It won�t be long until I see your face
In Heaven that marvelous day

Nobody

It's gone
What's gone? My mind?
Soul? No, I'm fine
Not really
Deep inside, something is missing
The love and tender kissing
She walked out herself
Now all I do is talk to myself
in the mirror, with my reflection
My heart is dead
Soon it will make a resurrection
Once the wounds heal
And I'm loved for real
A type of love I can feel
But nobody loves me
Nobody cares
Nobody loves me
That nobody is me
I can't love myself because no one does
I'm all alone and no longer what I once was
But the only thing that keeps me alive
Is knowing that the next day, it might all change
For the best
And that "nobody" becomes somebody

Courage To Move On!!

They had been together for many a year,
Now all she can feel is fear.
She gave all that she could give,
It just wasn't the way he wanted to live.

He left without a backward glance,
Not even giving their love a chance.
She often wonders what she could have done,
To keep him from going on the run.

Now she is living all alone,
With nothing she can call her own.
She can barely make herself eat,
Wondering if her life will again be complete.

This woman is now moving along,
Building her courage, and becoming strong.
Time will heal her broken pride,
Toward the sunrise her heart will glide.

Warped & Twisted

Harsh words & violent blows
Hidden secrets nobody knows
Eyes are open, hands are fisted
Deep inside I'm warped & twisted
So many tricks & so many lies
Too many whens & too many whys
Nobody's special, nobody's gifted
I'm just me, warped & twisted
Sleeping awake & choking on a dream
Listening loudly to a silent scream
Call my mind, the number's unlisted
Lost in someone so warped & twisted
On my knees, alive but dead
Look at the invisible blood I've bled
I'm not gone, my mind has drifted
Don't expect much, I'm warped & twisted
Burnt out, wasted, empty, & hollow
Today's just yesterday's tomorrow
The sun died out, the ashes sifted
I'm still here, warped & twisted

Wings Of The Angels

A gentle wind blew cross the land
Reaching out to take a hand
For on the winds the angels came
Calling out a mother's name.

Left behind, the children's tears
Loving memories of the years
Of joy and love, a life well spent
And now to God a mother's sent.

On angel's wings, a heavenly flight
The journey home, towards the light
To those who weep, a life is gone
But in God's love, 'tis but the dawn.

Dying Inside

Something so hard
goes straight to the soul;
it seems impossible to get over
and my heart is left with a big hole.

I'm trying to be happy, wearing a smile;
but I'm dying inside.
The world seems to be fading,
and I just want to run and hide.

Everywhere I go I see your face,
and realize how much I miss you;
and on the day you died
a piece of me died too.

Forever Young

Trapped in the glorious years
within the memory of belief, lost of all grief.
Take the reasons,
which once seemed so clear,
but never mind, you have nothing to fear.
For you my fried will be, forever young,
Forever in the heart of memories.

Lost in the glory of all time,
the wisdom was there within that smile,
You see you could have told us,
there within lies the mystery.

So shed a smile, and grin a tear,
For you my friend, will be,
Forever young, Forever young.
Forever in the heart of memory,
We see not through or misery.
Forever young, forever young.
There's a new angel tonight.

Your Eyes

When I look at your eyes, I see your true self.
I see you're sweet, and caring.
I see you're giving and forgiving.
I see your love for me.

When I look at your eyes I stop myself from crying
When I'm alone and think about your eyes I cry.
I can't stop thinking that one day I'll never see those eyes again
That I'll never see the love or the sweetness
Or the love that makes you who you are.
One day you'll be gone - gone from me.
Gone from this world.
No matter what happens, those eyes will one day close
And forever rest in peace.

But you'll never be completely gone,
Because every time I close my eyes,
There you will be.

Just a Little Longer

Desolation,
Wide open space,
Between the trees and me,
Emptiness and me,
Confusion and decisions,
Feelings hard to define,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

Coldness seeps
Its way in,
I am falling deeper,
Into what I fear most,
As I reach out,
There is nothing there,
As possible there was something once,
Only to be gone,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

The sun drops,
The last inch of light falls,
The squirrels more likely to be huddled up,
But not me,
Something I never possessed,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

Then the sun has gone,
Darkness spreads its wings over me,
I see nothing so no one sees me,
Feeling of bitterness only,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

An Owl peers down,
With question in her eyes,
She doesn't have a hope,
In helping me,
As she doesn't see my pain,
Spreads her wings,
Passes me by,
And I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

The soft earth,
Seems the only thing holding me up,
Even then I could slip,
And wondering takes me,
To why and how I got here,
Without even knowing it,
Yet no one notices,
As they didn't see before,
So I say to myself,
Just a little longer,

Shimmering in the darkness,
I see two moons,
Reflecting off a stream of thoughts,
Ongoing forever more,
Along a rocky road,
Slowly giving in to finding a way out,
I take the plunge under the river,
Then the wind carries a whisper,
Gently on a breeze,
'Just a little longer.'

Why?

He was young
His life had just begun
All of a sudden it was taken away
I didn't even get to say the things I wanted to say
Only if God could see
How he could of turned out to be
Alcohol was the cause
He was wrong and broke the law
He wasn't the only one to pay
I still cry to this day
He would have been 21 this year
Sometimes I envision him in my mind
As clear as I would in a mirror
I only hope he knows
that no matter where in life I go
I love him so much
I only wish I could feel his touch
Only if God could see
How much he meant to me
Why won't the sorrow disappear?
Why can't I stop shedding the tears?
I never told him how much I cared
or how much I enjoyed the things we shared
All of mind is filled with hate
Because I never told him of my love
and now it's too late
Sometimes I feel he's here
I only wish he didn't drink that beer
For he'd be alive today
and I wouldn't think of reasons "Why?" to say

You'll Never Know

You'll never know

How much I loved you,

How much I cared.

You'll never know

About my pain,

About my broken heart.

You'll never know

How much I cried,

Just lying on my bed

And thinking of you . . .

kissing her.

Goodbye At Last

Saying goodbye is never easy
It's the hardest thing to do
But what hurts even more
Is not the chance to say it to you.

Yesterday is just a memory
Our laughter was sunny and bright
Then clouds started to gather
For you were no where in sight.

You were my first real love
And this I will never forget
How you left without a warning
No good-byes, my only regret.

Wherever I may be now
Always searching for another so true
To place my world of emotion
Handing my love to someone like you.

If again I must go there
And experience all the pain
I would do it in a minute
For all the good I would gain.

No matter what my wrongs
You offered only love
Until the day you left me
For your new home up above.

I know you still are with me
Your love is within my heart
Though life is no longer present
Our souls will never part.

This is given to you in honor
Of all that we did share
I just wanted you to know, dear,
How much I really did care.

You Are Like The Diamond

You are like the diamond
You glimmer and glow
And shine so brightly
Some, like me, draw close
To feel your warmth, your heat
Only to find none

You are like the diamond
You are bright and strong
But you have no warmth, or love
It's a terrible game
To play with people's hearts
Like mine

You are like the diamond
You will last longer than most
But you will have no love
No warmth to back up that bright light
So what kind of life will it be?
Besides long?

Will you regret it someday?
Regret being so much like the diamond
Regret being so cold
And look for me
A find me gone?
Can I ever leave?

No, I can never leave you
I am drawn to this cold light
This false sense of warmth you give
I keep wishing and hoping
That someday, you will give warmth
But, this will never be

Diamonds last forever

Love

You said the words I love you,
But it is obvious things have changed.
I said the words I love you,
And my feelings are still the same.
You said I'll love you forever,
But forever wasn't long enough.
I said I'll love you always,
And I'll mean it forever.
But I can not imply to you
What that means,
'Cause your version of Forever
Isn't what it seems,
And my version of Always
Seems like an unrealistic dream.

Promises Made

Yesterday's goals, dim memories.
Dark saddened eyes, blurring with tears.
Painful scars borne; Love's history.
Futures crumble when doubt appears.

No brightly lit hope envisioned,
When following after harsh words.
Hurt soul splits in twain, partitioned.
Swooned by appeal - when numbness lured.

Apologies made, never bought.
Price paid turned out far too costly.
Though never known what would be wrought -
Must walk into the night softly.

One wish, only to be released.
Granted - now receive this token.
Words written in rhyme, love's deceased.
When promises made . . . were broken.

Crazy

Trapped inside my own head
With nothing but my own fevered dreams to comfort me.
I know the pain of the madman;
He lives inside of me.
I've felt the strength of demons
And the weakness of self- preservation.
And hope. Hope.
Hey, parents, do you know where your kids are tonight?
Are they locked away inside of themselves?
Are their minds slipping away?
Mama hen, mama hen . . .
The fox has taken your baby again.
Precious minds are a shame to waste
Memories are forgotten in haste.
I am losing all that is me . . .
Yet gaining something entirely different.
Something that acts like an animal
And speaks like God.
Comforts me like a best friend
And loves me like its child.
I am its child.
An innocent brat, ready for its teachings.
Ready to do what is told to me.
Believing all that is said to me.
Taking in all.
And living off of my fevered dreams.